The thoughts and feelings from someone living with long term depression
Today I’m very tired, yesterday I really pushed myself and was busy for the whole day. First I had my counseling session, and then after lunch I went to volunteer in a charity shop I sometimes do some work for. And I drove despite the weather. It was snowing, or hailing or something like that, and I was really worried it would settle. But it didn’t and all I had to deal with was awful traffic! But that’s to be expected in the miserable British weather we’ve been having!!!
The strangest thing I did while I was at the shop, was I bought something for £35! There where 3 real fur stoles that had been donated, obviously antique ones. I bought the red fox one, and I instantly loved it as soon as I saw it! But I’m not sure I’d ever wear it now that I’ve got it home. Somehow it doesn’t feel right. Should I be sad that 50 or more years ago someone killed a fox just for its fur? I really love foxes, and at the back of my mind I think one of the reasons I bought it was because I didn’t want anyone to wear it. A bit of a battle going on in my head about it!
So even with my depression I’m coping at the moment, and I even thought I’m tired today I actually did some house work. Now for most people house work is something that must be done but its a bit of a tedious annoyance to do. For people who are depressed it can be a mountain, an impossible task that takes a great deal of will power to achieve. Today it was more of a hill than a mountain, so not too hard.
So… not sure what I’m doing the rest of the day, but my counselor says I need to write a list of tasks that I need to do, and do one every day. Its really wonderful to have someone like her to support me. Its something we all could to with at some point.