solarangel's brain spew

The thoughts and feelings from someone living with long term depression

About Me

Hello all,

I decided to start a blog because I needed a release for my thoughts and feeling. Although I do see a councillor, that’s only once a week for an hour. She is very good, but there’s only so much I can say and that I can remember. I have to say it quite strange how bad my memory has become since I’ve been depressed, maybe it was always poor but I never really noticed.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression somewhere at the end of 2007 and started take medicine straight away. I also had bad anxiety. At that point in time I was away from the family home studying at university. The doctor was very worried about me and wanted me to go straight home to my family.

It’s been a long journey since then, going though several changes in medicines, seeing different doctors and other health care professionals, and dealing with the shortcomings of the NHS and other organisations who for some reason could not support me properly.

My family have been my main support, in some cases my only support. My dad has been my carer, making sure I take my medicine, taking me to appointments, even reminding me to eat, telling me to get up in the morning, and telling me to go for a shower.

So as life has progressed over the years I’ve had more downs then ups, but I’m slowly getting there. Although I will never be off medication completely, someday I hope I will be able to manage. Because hope is all I have.

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